Dear Mom(Effie),

Whew, it has taken a longgg time for me to get to this point. But Mom I forgive you. It doesn't take away from what you did to me. But I have to forgive you so I can be free. And so little Aisa can heal. I've been holding on to this pain and anger for a really long time. I also now understand that you were not protected so you didn't protect me. And even though it hurts deeply I get it now. And that you probably feel unseen because you never got saved, and I did. I hate that nobody saved you. I really wish someone would've saved you. Because I don't wish this pain on anyone. I still remember the nights he came in to rape me. And then would go beat and rape you. I remember soooo much. So my heart truly grieves for you. And I pray that one day you decide to heal. You didn't deserve what happened to you. I finally understand that I didn't deserve what happened to me. It took me a while to grasp this understanding. Also, I don't hate you, I just know for my peace I had to pull away. Because watching you slowly kill yourself is too hard for me. I also forgive you for not being the mother I wanted and needed. And again I get it. I got the version of you that you got growing up. Again you allowing me to be hurt still hurts deep. But I'm healing now. Because now I don't just see you as the bad guy. But I also see you as a victim. I still love you! And even though what I went through was very unfortunate, I get to help someone else pull through. I get to help someone else see the hand of God. I've learned a lot about myself over the years. And the biggest thing I've learned is I CAN NEVER QUIT! Someone needs me, and maybe one day you will heal because I am healing. But until then I will keep praying for you and loving you. Just remember I forgive you and I actually forgive you this time.

Love,

Aisa Nicole 💕